Have you ever watched an elderly couple enter a building? I pick up on body language quickly, and a couple I came across recently brought tears to my eyes. The way the gentleman’s hand reached for the small of his wife’s back as he helped her through the door was gentle and supportive. When his wife gazed up at him with an appreciative smile, I think my heart skipped a beat. They had obviously spent many decades together celebrating anniversaries. They have probably endured the lean financial years, the exhaustion of parenthood, and maybe even other relationship polarizations like infidelity, immaturity, and meaningless bickering. They survived the rollercoaster ride and came through the other side with love, respect, and a comforting familiarity.
Twelve years ago, my attempt at building that type of relationship failed, despite multiple attempts to make it work. I found myself in a place where I was content to live on my own as a single mom and planned my future on that basis. I even threw in a couple of cats to keep me company. Until that one day, when I received an e-mail from an acquaintance who had gone through the same thing. A communication that I knew would change my life forever if I opened it–and I wasn’t wrong. Friday, I will be celebrating my fifth wedding anniversary with the author of that e-mail. It was a letter of hello that turned into a cup of coffee, a cup of coffee into a date, a date into loving someone, and loving someone into knowing I could not live without him.
Why is marriage better this time around? Because we both learned from our past mistakes and vowed not to make them again. We have based our relationship on mutual respect, honesty, and a desire to work toward the same goals in life. I love my husband because he is a sincere, honest, and hardworking man. For the most part, he listens to my rants and endures my emotional outbursts. Even better than that, he is there to give me a big bear hug when I need it. He has seen me at my worst and still stays through the ugliest part of it–usually sporting a Cheshire-cat grin as he asks, “What was that all about?” We can laugh at each other and I’ve even learned not to roll my eyes at his corny jokes. He’s the calm to my storm. He’s my protector and champion. No, he’s not perfect–but to coin a phrase, he is perfect for me. I still wake up each morning and marvel that this life is mine. I am happy. I am secure. I am the most blessed woman I know.
Most of all, I love to feel his hand in the small of my back as he offers his support when walking through a door. He will always have more than my appreciative smile, he will forever own my heart.
(This is a blogging101 assignment, “My Dream Reader.”)
What a beautiful love story! It made my eyes wet and again I remembered, as I do very often, how lucky I am (just like you are). I’ll be 49 on Saturaday and met my husband only 11 years ago after a few failures, but it’s a real love story, very much like yours :)))
A beautiful blog, a lovely testament to the life you’re building together. My hubby and I have been married 43 years. We renewed our wedding vows with the whole shebang (ceremony, reception, dinner…) for our 35th anniversary, and I think it meant more to us than the first one because now we knew how hard/rewarding a marriage can be. May yours be truly blessed. I had to smile the other day. Often when I’m buying groceries late in the afternoon HL will notice I’m there as he comes home from work. If he sees the car he’ll stop and come in. My grown son was with me the other day when HL stopped in. He said when I looked up and saw his dad coming down the aisle I lit up like a Christmas tree. If I needed any reassurance that what HL and I have will last, I guess that was it. There’s no better feeling in the world than that. I hope you know many, many such small moments.
I love this post. A good marriage needs nurturing and tending. I like to plant respect, grace and forgiveness in mine. Humor is really important for us also. It is the fertilizer and we spread it thick.
Wonderful post. Congratulations!
This is absolutely beautiful, I hope your hubby read it. Thanks for sharing.
I found your soulful honesty and clarity refreshing!!! I am on round #2 as well and your correct: Learned from our past mistakes.
Its the only way to not repeat them.
Great write up!
Words from a wonderful lady! Blessed to know her!!
Wow, beautifully written. Congrats on your anniversary and wishing you many more 🙂
Oh that’s beautiful! Reminds me of a couple we saw on Saturday. We went for lunch and they walked in, hand-in-hand, easily mid-eighties and it was just so lovely to see! My mom was a single mother so major respect to you and all other single parents. I’m so glad you found your new(ish) husband and thanks for sharing your love story. Happy anniversary!
Aww, he is the keeper of your heart.
He certainly is. Sure took me long enough to get it right, so going to do everything in my power to keep it that way.