“And this mess is so big
And so deep and so tall, We cannot pick it up.
There is no way at all!” — Dr. Seuss, The Cat In The Hat
My fellow RAers can understand this, I’m sure. Days of hardly being able to move followed by a day where we think we might be able to conquer the world–for a whole five minutes.
I am learning to make the most of those little spurts of energy without throwing myself out of the game for a few more days. At first, when those bursts happened to me, I saw my long to-do-and-catch-up-what’s-behind list and thought I could and should tackle it all. Unfortunately, I took two steps backward and paid for the overexertion with increased downtime for the next few days.
I have come to the conclusion that my house will never be clean, or, at least, all of it will not be sparkling at the same time. I have to do it in shifts and only during a spurt. I have to prioritize what gets done. Work gets everything I have five days a week, home is on a first-come-first-served basis. Is the kitchen more important to clean up today than the bathroom? How long can the dishes sit in the sink before I have to do the push and pull of emptying the dishwasher so I can refill it? Do I cook a full-on meal, or is it an electric can-opener and microwave night? On the especially bad days, it comes down to whether taking a shower and getting dressed is more of a necessity than making breakfast. Seems like every day is a choice. It’s sort of like paying the bills–there’s only so much money ’til the end of the month. With RA, there’s only so much energy ’til the end of the day. Thank God I have a supportive husband who helps pick up my slack.
So I’m setting new goals for myself. Five minutes of tidying each day, even if I don’t feel good. Five minutes of working on a project (closet, bathroom cupboards, dresser drawers, etc.), even if I have to sort piles while sitting in a comfy chair. Maybe even try doing a load of laundry a day instead of all in one fell swoop. Baby steps, but still making progress.
Things are not going to get done all at once, so I’m not setting my expectations that high anymore. Trying to get through one day at a time will be emotionally easier if I’m not berating myself for what is not getting done. Maybe this will push me a little without breaking my energy bank. It’s worth a try, right?
I’ll let you know how it goes.