I was talking to a dear friend recently and we had a discussion about our young adult children in their early 20s. One is overseas and the other states away.
They are both hard working and responsible kids that tend to make practical decisions about their life goals and their future. They are on their own far from home, though, and they are young. We were questioning some of their decisions amongst ourselves–tattoos, drinking with friends, living arrangements, and playing video games in their spare time. They are generational things that we may never understand, but can be overlooked because they do keep in touch with us and they pretty much have it together.
We were their age once. In fact, we were their age together many years ago. We did things that were fun, things that maybe we shouldn’t have, and things that we look back on and wonder, “What the heck were we thinking?” We also have some wonderful memories that are a testament to our life-long friendship.
It all boils down to this: From now on, it is their journey. We’ve taught them right from wrong, instilled values, made them feel loved and secure, and have given them tools to survive in this big, bad, wonderful world. Like us at one time, they are in the beginning of building their lives. They are starting their personal journeys, and they have to do it on their own. We just have to remember to butt out. We have to trust them and believe that they are making decisions that are right for them. If they make a mistake, it’s their bump in the road and lessons they need to learn. We just have sit back and love them. Since I know both kids, we are also going to be very proud. Guaranteed.
I can’t wait to see where their journey takes them and what the future holds in store. It’s another step in the parenting process for us, and a lifelong adventure for them.
Yep, that is the way of it with parenting and kids. We were questioning some of their decisions amongst ourselves–tattoos, drinking with friends, living arrangements, and playing video games in their spare time. They are generational things that we may never understand… Those things are the hardest of all to cope with, I should imagine.
Well said. Two of our kids are nearing that stage now and the process of letting go isn’t easy but I agree – they have to (and want to) map out their own journeys.
But they’ll always be our babies, at least I think so.
I think so too.
Right?! Letting go of adult children is the hardest task for parents! It’s hard to do but so necessary… For them and for us! Lol!
I so agree. Take care, Dawn
So true. I enjoyed this blog. I think about how I had to “wean” my parents from my life when I was in my early twenties. I said to them “You have done your job. You have raised me right. Please let me live!” They backed off some lol.
It’s so hard to do! I’m learning. Funny how kids teach us more than we teach them.
Lovely sentiments and very self aware to recognise when you have to step back and let your fledglings fly. The bit that I was really touched by was the part that you knew you’d be very proud of them ‘Guaranteed’. I’m sure they’re also very proud of you.
Thank you so much. This made my day.
Letting go was hard….but how proud I am as I sit on the sidelines watching them grow.
They’re all raising their own families now..and though it’s hard when they hit a roadblock, to watch and see how they tackle those roadblocks…they WOW me……..I’ve not always agreed with some of their decisions…but I’ve kept that to myself, unless asked. I find that works best 😄
I’m learning how to do that, too (keeping stuff to myself unless asked). Thank you for your comment!
Exactly! And as long as they send pictures, now and again, of where they are and what they’re doing (riding an elephant in Myanmar, learning to tango in Argentina, etc) all is good.
My two children are soon to be 36 and 41! That seems impossible since I don’t think of myself as old, and yet I’m getting there. I think back to how very grown up we thought we were at that age, and now I shake my head and smile. But just like us they will find their way and it sounds like you’ve given your children the groundwork to make good choices when it comes to the big things, the small things are often called learning experiences and good memories for telling tales later! 🙂
Josie Two Shoes
from Josie’s Journal
Wonderful words of wisdom!
It is their journey but it is extremely hard to butt out! My son, for instance, just turned 20 and he is no where ready for the world around him, I wish sometimes I had another 20 years to prepare him and I worry about his future. He is a very stong-headed (and thick-headed) individual and I find it difficult to watch him heading for a train wreck and not be able to do anything about it. I just keep telling myself he is very smart (because he is) and will eventually “get it”. My daughter is a bit younger, just about to get her driver’s license and talking to her sometimes is like talking to a teenager, if you know what I mean. They are both good kids and I’m sure will be fine, but as a dad I often wonder if I did a good enough job raising them. Sometimes I want a do-over.